I received my first rejection letter with personalized feedback today; it made me so happy I had to be reminded it wasn't okay to shout in the workplace.
"I found the narrative more distant than I prefer; I didn't get as much of a sense of Ilian's motivations or emotions as I would like. I also felt that the full text of the song interrupted the flow of the story, and took the focus of the present events more than I prefer."
Thank god for feedback! I made the story bigger and better. I edited the song and cut it in half, I gave Ilian memories and psychology, I added beach sand and ferris wheels! I was cocky about it at first, but they were just so right... I've taken this and applied it to my future. I should never aim for emotionless spectacle.
