I lived in Virginia for close to two years, from ages six to seven. The church sermons were conducted by a ventriloquist dummy. Dude was in character for hours.
Throughout my childhood I had a variety of ticks, which is excellent news when you perform church songs in the children's choir. I would squeeze my eyes really, really tight, like long, painful blinks. If someone drew attention to it, I would do it in rapid succession, I couldn't stop.
Some teenage boys that I knew were in the audience one Sunday, mimicking my facial ticks, laughing, pointing it out to the Lutherans around them, who smiled.
I kept looking at them throughout the whole performance, studying their faces as my own swirled in circles and disfigured itself. It turns out I didn't look like a monkey, but a, fuckin', mentally retarded little girl.
